Suicidal ideation. Not a topic a lot of people want to talk about. Most people don’t want to hear about it. No one knows how someone truly feels. What someone is going through. You get asked how you are, most people answer I’m fine.
I know that is what I do. People check in, and I say I’m fine. When in reality I can be in so much pain that it physically hurts. Mentally I am a mess. I am holding on for dear life and feel like I can’t tell anyone. This rollercoaster I’m on doesn’t stop. I’m up and I’m down. But I always feel like I should tell everyone I’m fine.
Why is that? Why do I feel like the stigma of mental health is getting worse? We don’t know what other people are going through, so do we just assume someone else has it worse and keep it all bottled up? Are we taking steps backwards? In the midst of a mental health crisis do you have a plan?
Recently, I took some time off work. I had a mental health crisis and didn’t say anything until it was almost too late. With everything going on in my life, I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone. No one wants to mention the word suicide, no one wants to think their friend, family member, or significant other is in a rough spot and needs extra help. And this is why we need to normalize talking about mental health.
If it hadn’t been for me finally breaking down and telling my boyfriend I needed help I don’t know what I would have done or what would have happened to me. But when I finally said I needed help I got the help I needed.
After working with my doctor and therapist I am finally in a more stable place. I may not be 100% yet, but I will get there. Without finally opening up about my suicidal thoughts I could of hurt myself. I was so worried about being judged by others I kept it all locked in. I felt lost and alone.
This is why the stigma of mental health and mental illness needs to be stopped. Everyone should feel able to be open with how they are doing. No one should suffer alone. But when the thoughts get too much, reach out for help. Remember you are not alone. Be open and honest, get the help you need, the help you deserve.
Until more people are talking about normalizing these conversations the stigma will remain. Being open and honest for feeling this way does not make you weak. But reaching out for help makes you strong. Together we can help end the stigma around mental health. Start the conversations today.
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts please call or text 988 the Suicide and Crisis hotline.
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